What Makes a Marriage Successful in Islam

Religion and Piety in Marriage

In Islam, marriage is regarded as a sacred institution established upon divine principles, etiquette, and spiritual conditions. This section explores the Islamic requirements for marriage, emphasizing the significance of faith and piety as the foundation of a successful union.

The Qur’an instructs:

“Marry those among you who are single, or the virtuous ones among your slaves, male or female.” (1)

Islam is not merely a religion of worship; it is a complete way of life encompassing beliefs, morals, and actions. True faith in Islam means a heart firmly connected with Allah (SWT), belief in the Day of Judgment, the angels, the Prophets, and the Holy Qur’an revealed as the final guidance for mankind.

Islamic morality includes humility, modesty, patience, good manners, tolerance, perseverance, compassion, sincerity, justice, chastity, generosity, and a gentle temperament.

Actions in Islam include performing the daily prayers, observing fasting, undertaking Hajj (the sacred pilgrimage to Makkah), paying alms and khums (the one-fifth levy), enjoining good and forbidding evil, striving in Allah’s path (Jihad), showing kindness to parents, maintaining honesty and justice, and observing the rights of others.

These are only examples of the vast and comprehensive teachings of Islam — a religion that ensures both worldly welfare and eternal salvation.

Indeed, religion is the light that illuminates human life, guiding one towards Allah and refining the soul for both this world and the Hereafter. It is the most precious treasure among all of Allah’s creations — the same divine religion conveyed by all Prophets, Imams, and Saints.

Whoever embraces this religion and adorns himself with its values reflects the attributes of Allah and opens the gates of eternal success. But the one who turns away from Islam closes upon himself the doors of true prosperity.

In the eyes of Allah, faith and piety hold the same supreme value. The one beautified with divine religion becomes the most noble, the most complete, and the most distinguished of all creatures.

“Indeed, those who have faith and perform righteous deeds — they are the best of creation.” (2)

If a person adopts the characteristics of a true believer described in the Qur’an and Hadith, they attain the status of an ideal believer, defined as one who:

• is humble in prayer,
• avoids idle talk,
• gives alms,
• guards chastity,
• keeps promises, and
• remains steadfast in worship.

The Qur’an describes such people:

“Those who humble themselves in prayer; who avoid vain talk; who are active in charity; who guard their chastity — except with those joined to them in marriage — and who faithfully observe their trusts and covenants, and who strictly guard their prayers.” (3)

The Qur’an further praises the righteous, saying:

“Those who spend the night in adoration of their Lord, prostrating and standing; who pray, ‘Our Lord! Avert from us the punishment of Hell’; who are neither extravagant nor miserly in spending but take a balanced path; who do not call upon any god besides Allah, nor take a life unjustly, nor commit fornication.” (4)

It continues to describe their other qualities — that they avoid falsehood, forgive others, reflect on the signs of Allah, and pray for righteous spouses and children, asking,

“Our Lord! Grant us from our spouses and offspring the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders of the righteous.” (4)

The Character of a Believer

Imam Ali (peace be upon him) said:

“A true believer is not attached to worldly wealth; his efforts are directed toward righteousness; his nobility lies in contentment, and his goal is the Hereafter. His good deeds increase, his rank rises, and he moves closer to salvation.” (5)

He also said:

“A believer is one who constantly remembers Allah, reflects deeply, gives thanks for blessings, and remains patient in hardship.” (6)

Imam Ja’far al-Sadiq (A.S.) stated:

“A believer earns his income through lawful means, has a gentle nature, avoids deceit, gives charity from his surplus, and refrains from useless speech.” (7)

The Imams of the Ahl al-Bayt (peace be upon them) emphasized the great honor and dignity of believers. Imam Sadiq (A.S.) said:

“The honor of a believer is greater than that of the Ka‘bah.” (8)

Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (A.S.) declared:

“A believer is as well known in the heavens as a man knows his wife and children on earth. Indeed, a believer is closer to Allah than the Archangel.” (9)

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him and his progeny) said:

“By My Glory and Majesty, I have not created any being among My creation more beloved to Me than a true believer.” (10)

Being Well-Matched (Kafā’ah)

After establishing the necessity of faith and piety, Islam also emphasizes compatibility (kafā’ah) between spouses. A well-matched marriage is one in which the couple share both outward harmony and inner spiritual alignment — the most important of which is piety.

As the Qur’an says:

“Women of purity are for men of purity.” (11)
“Marry women of your choice.” (12)

The first level of purity refers to inner faith — belief in Allah, the Hereafter, the Prophets, the Qur’an, the angels, and upright moral character. Thus, a believing man cannot marry a woman who rejects faith, and likewise, a believing woman cannot marry an unbelieving man.

Such a union is invalid in Islam, and its outcome is spiritually harmful. The Qur’an strongly warns:

“Do not marry unbelieving women until they believe. A believing slave woman is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she may please you. Nor marry your daughters to unbelievers until they believe. A believing slave man is better than an unbeliever, even though he may please you.” (13)

Hence, families must ensure that faith and righteousness are the primary criteria when choosing a spouse. Wealth, beauty, and status do not guarantee happiness, while faith and moral virtue bring divine blessings, peace, and noble offspring.

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

“When someone proposes marriage to your daughter and you are satisfied with his religion and character, then marry her to him. If you do not, there will be chaos and great corruption on earth.” (15,16)

Imam Sadiq (A.S.) said:

“A chaste woman who is easy to live with is the best match for you.” (14)

Excessive strictness, demanding wealth or beauty, and holding on to false traditions have led many young men and women to delay marriage, fall into moral corruption, and suffer psychological distress.

Therefore, families should be flexible, simplify conditions, and avoid social prejudices. By doing so, they earn Allah’s pleasure and help prevent sin and hardship.

Imam al-Baqir (A.S.) warned:

“The greatest misfortune is when a believing young man proposes marriage to your daughter, and you reject him due to financial concerns.” (18)

Islam rejects tribal and racial discrimination in marriage. All humans are the descendants of Adam and Hawwa (Eve), and no one has superiority over another except through piety.

Imam Sajjad’s (A.S.) View on Compatibility

Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (A.S.) narrated:

“During Hajj, my father Imam Zayn al-‘Abidin (A.S.) met a woman whose good character impressed him. When told she was unmarried, he proposed to her without investigating her lineage. Later, a man came and said, ‘Praise be to Allah, she belongs to a noble family.’ My father replied, ‘Do you not know that Allah has replaced all inferiority with Islam? In Islam, no one is low or inferior; only righteousness gives honor. Inferiority belongs to the era of ignorance.’” (19)

Hence, wealth, lineage, race, or geography do not determine compatibility. An Arab is not superior to a non-Arab, nor a white to a black. The only true measure is taqwa (piety).

If a couple possesses faith, chastity, good character, and sincerity, they are well-matched — even if they differ in language, background, or social class.

Ali ibn Isbat once wrote to Imam Muhammad al-Jawad (A.S.) saying he could not find equal matches in faith for his daughters. The Imam replied:

“Do not be overly cautious. The Prophet (peace be upon him) advised us to accept a suitor if his religion and morals are satisfactory; otherwise, corruption and discord will spread on earth.” (20)

Imam Sadiq (A.S.) also said:

“No believer faces a more dangerous trial than wealth. Its harm is worse than that of two wild wolves attacking sheep without a shepherd. The least danger is that a man may refuse a believer’s proposal for his daughter due to lack of wealth.”

Thus, the true measure of a worthy marriage partner in Islam is faith, morality, trustworthiness, and piety — the qualities that ensure not only a blessed family but also eternal reward.